Being a bitch

Grad year and rad sex... hehe

Good day everybody in blogger land... i am back after a much needed holiday and i can finally (and happily) say that i am a grad student, finally in er.. final year and then its off to the real world... hehe... frankly i dont think the real world is ready for me yet... oh well... tough...

Now on to the part that you all wana read... Rad sex.

what is Rad sex you ask???

Well you can ask my boyfriend... or i can just tell you.

Rad sex is when sex is soooooo gewd that you:

• Forget your name afterwards

• Forget where you are

• See pretty pink fairies

Yes, i have experienced rad sex, because i kick ass and my BF, S knows how to please me. Now every one can have rad sex, there are just some simple rules one has to follow in order to fully appreciate the wonders of rad sex...

Number 1:

Set the mood... ooh!!!

It doesnt have to be like all romantic and flowery and all that jazz but simply let that lucky person know exactly what you intend to do to him or her... in detail... you know... wet their appetite.. hehe, send a naughty email or sms... or a sexy pick... ooh!!!

Number 2:

Decide on a venue, come on guys theres nothing worse than being all hot and heavy for each other and not being able to shag at her place cos its being fumigated and you cant do at his place cos he forgot to clean the 3 month mess in his house.

Number 3:

Foreplay Foreplay Foreplay!!!! do i have to say it again!?! there's nothing like discovering each others bodies... slowly... dont be scared!!!

Number 4:

Tell each other what you want in bed... If you think you'r good now, armed with that info, you will automatically enter the sex god hall of fame!!!

Number 5:

Cuddle afterwards, have some ice cream (for the non- smokers) or a ciggie...

And there you have it steaks, Rad sex in 5 easy steps... trust me , you'll be thanking me afterwards... hehe

ps... i found this darling lil sight called pyzam.com it is hilarious, full of pics, jokes and layouts... very entertaining... and with that i leave you with a short chinese lesson... mwah steaks, Shortypam is back!!!! hehe...

posted by Shortypam @ 13:27 Comments: 17

Tequila, Foreign rum and drunk bloggers

The blogger meet on the 15'th of December was absolutely AWESOME!!!! a huge thank you all all the organisers, it was an absolute wow!!!!!!!!!!

I met my hero Peas On Toast, that was so awesome she is so totally sweet. I also met our Crusader for the ones in need Champagne Heathen, she is kewl and she likes her tequila!!!
S and i (yes my sexy man was there with me) also met Third world Ant as well as Jam!!! iv been wanting to meet Jam 4 a long long time and it was an absolute pleasure...

I also met the peeps from Ostendo: Deadalus, Devlin, In her shoes and BIG Al!!! Deadalus is really funny!!! a real hoot!!! Big Al is... big in a fluffy-cuddly-bear kinda way (he feels like a huge teddy bear when you hug him) In Her Shoes, now she is absolutely gorgeous!!! Devlin is also funny but what was real funny was his beautiful wife... she was going mad with everybody coming up to her saying: "so you are Devlins wife..." by the end of the evening she was threatening to punch the next person who said that to her... but by the time i left no punches had been thrown... yet.

The dudes from Joblog (very interesting guy i tell you!!!) and Chumpstyle (wezzo is so sweet) and Aquila online,(Also very sweet). now the big surprise of the evening was seeing everybodies favourite commenter Chew the cud, Now he brought some Rum from his holiday in Mozambique, it smells like Vanilla and it tastes like... you guessed it... vanilla lol!!!

A big Holla to my bud Suave who was also there and actually directed Skitee and i to the "blogger tent" while we sat wondering who of us in the crowd of people were also fellow bloggers....

So once again a big thankyou to all who organised the meet, it was so wicked kewl!!!!

posted by Shortypam @ 17:35 Comments: 14

Freedom!!!!

posted by Shortypam @ 20:05 Comments: 18

Exams are an anti climax

The worst part about exams is:
No not the studiying....
No not the writing of the actual exam...

Yeah you guessed it its that niggling feeling in the back of your head telling you, that you should be studiying for your Intergrated marketing communications exam instead of shagging the day lights out of your man!!! well for me anyway...

Honestly man how the heck can i blind-fold and tie my man to the bedpost and shag the living shit out him all crazy-ass- chic- style when im too busy thinking about the Globalisation techniques of Coca-cola... its ridiculous i tell you!!!

Next im gonna scream out "ooh yes baby!!! just like that!!! work that creative execution and strat review babe, im almost there!!!" while we're doing the biz... i swear folks i can see this happening in my mind...

But thinking of that it does sound kinda kinky... i think...

"ooh Yes!! Yes!!! keep going!!! do that post advertising evaluation!!!"
" yeah baby!!! im cummin!!! im cummin!!! macro/micro analysis!!! oooh!!!!"

ok thats a bad idea. sounds like a rare form of marketing turrets syndrome... ok the simple way to stop my thinking of School work and shouting out possible answers would be for me to be tied to the post and gagged and let my man Shag the pants off me... mmmm that could work...


By the way exams are going kewl. Yes i meant to spell kewl like that, its the new thing... lol!!!


On Friday the 10th i met some one so kewl and sophisticated. you could say he was er.. Suave...
Thats right i met good ol Suavilicious.. there's me enjoying a Millers at bowlers and i look over and see this chocolate man standing all dapper- like. i thought to myself... "mmmm he looks familiar, some how"

I went over and tapped him on the shoulder, and asked if he had a blog, to which he replied yeah, rather stunned... i then asked if he be Suave, he said "yeah", and i said "Hi I be shortypam"
yeah and what followed was raucous laughter and photo taking, (my pic is on his blog 4 all you curious peeps) even the BF thought he was kewl...

So this post is dedicated to Suave!!! now back to the studiying!!! Enjoy the week steaks!!!

posted by Shortypam @ 12:09 Comments: 18

Quite lil ho....

Hey there guys, i will be starting exams in about a week, so if i seem a lil quite or it looks as if i have disappeared, do not send out a search party!!!! I will be fine, a lil ticked off and ready to rip some heads off, but fine none-the-less.

just remeber this... Ill be back!!!

posted by Shortypam @ 10:05 Comments: 13

happy Birthday to me!!!!

Oh the great 20!!! i am one year closer to becoming an adult!!! it was my birthday on sunday and it was amost wonderous day and i got spoilt rotten (like a queen of ho's should rightfully be treated)... i got some cool gadgets like an MP4 player... yeah MP4, and a pretty laptop as well as jewelry and such and such ooh and lets not forget the chocolate and the birthday shag!!! (thank u S!!!)


hehe...

how lusty are you?

Your Lust Quotient: 44%

You are definitely a lustful person, but you do a good job of hiding it.Your friends would be surprised to know that your secretly very wild!

posted by Shortypam @ 09:52 Comments: 9

Any one for some fanned shit???

Now can you believe it??? He knows!! He knows bout the conversation i had with my best bud, though he seems to have a very skewed up version of it... apparently i called him some names and i told My BB (best bud) to choose between us. first of all i DID call him a couple of names:

• Dumbass
• Wanker
• Insecure freak
• Mommies boy
• Ass licker
• Closet gay
• "Packet o poo"
• Piece of shit
• Small dick man
• Herpes boy

Thats only a few of the names i called him but i DID NOT make my BB choose!!! i couldnt do that to her, now the million dollar question is... who told the wanker...

• He could have read my blog... it is a possibility, but i doubt he has the brain capacity to comprehend that i did not intend to make my BB choose between the both of us.

• The sister in law could have told him, but i dont think she would jeopardize her "happy" family life for something like this...

• The other manager may have told him, he of course knows whats going on.. (dont ask me how... ) but yeah could be him, though he hates george... or so he says....

• Some other fool must have told him... cos in a restauraunt, NOTHING is ever a secret...

So now the sister in, law informs me that he plans to fire me tomoro, sunday, (for what i dont know). He may sabotage me, being the manager and all, he has access to all my tables on the computer, or he may just fire me whenever and for whatever he sees fit... the phucking, idiotic, insecure, pee-brained, wanker ass licker!!!!!! how LOW can you go??? i mean, does he really think this is going to tear my whole life apart???

How much more insecure can you get? this dude is obviously some hectic low life who masturbates with his pillow then cries himself to sleep at night...

You know what? i actually feel sorry for this dude, he is a total loser of the first order, what he does not know is, the BB already knows about his little scheme and all his dirty secrets cos well iv told her and so has the sister in law.... mmmm i wonder how he will react to that news?

But revenge is sweet my dearies.... revenge comes in the form of health inspectors who will inspect their wonderful salmonella-infestested, dirty- as- hell-sticky floored kitchens!!! when you walk in that kitchen you have to hold onto to something so that you dont slip and fall on your ass, cos those floors are so caked with oil and fat, its like ice-skating without the ice... yeah... KITCHEN floors, place where they cook your food that you will put in your mouth... mmm yes health inspectors that should be fun!!!

And if the wanker does FIRE me on some stupid grounds im gonna haul his ass to the CCMA, i dont want money... oh no, i want him to die of embarresment, just picture it the lawyer walks into the shop and in front of all of the staff asks for george and tells him about the wonderful subpoena, now little boy george must explain to daddy dearest where this guy came from and why...

lol!!! yes well this is assuming it works of course... if not well the health inspectors will be a fun idea to entertain...

Wish me luck steaks!!!

posted by Shortypam @ 22:45 Comments: 21

Backstabbings and broken hearts.

Fuck me im pissed off!!! no no... im FUCKING HACKED OFF!!!!! with that sorry good for nothing boss that i work for!!!! let me get u updated the last time i spoke about my boss in my way back when was in the post called playing cupid is a bitch . This is the post in which i vented my frustration at the fool smsing and calling me at all hours of the day asking me and telling me how much he liked my best friend and if she liked him back, like some kind of insecure child!!! well they inefitably hooked up thanks to alot of my hard work by me behind the scenes buttering her up and helping george (my boss) with his self esteem issues.

So now its been three months down the line and their still going strong.

Lately this wanker george (my boss) has just become the favourite son to his dad, who owns the restauraunt where i work... prime grill in meyersdal. Now he has become the big boss after stabbing his brother and his fiance in the back and getting the poor guy (the brother) so frustrated he left the family business... (oh yes i know all bout their family fueds caused by him, he is just so jealous) the pathetic loser middle brother.

Now heres the problem, the guy gets the utmost pleasure from making me feel like an idiot and embarressing me in front of my best friends family (whom iv known all my life)... he swears at me in front of my co-workers makes lewd and suggestive comments and always reminds me that he is the boyfriend and im just the best friend.


Yesterday, Sunday, i was at work and he carried on with his shit screaming at everybody and exerting his power in front of daddy like a pathetic little boy trying too hard to impress. He then avoided me all day. He informed me earlier in the morning that he will be hosting a surprise birthday party 4 my best friend at the restauraunt this coming saturday and that i should come.


After doing my work and serving customers, his soon-to-be-sister in law, (his brothers fiance) came over to tell me that george has been talking about me. I then demanded to know what was said about me. She told me.


This is what he said to one of the new trainee managers and all the staff who were standing with him at the time:


That my best friend is too good to be friends with a person like me, he cant understand why she is friends with me in the first place. He also has a plan to embarrass me in front of her and her entire family on saturday and make sure that she dumps me and finds new friends, He cant wait to tell me that im just a "stupid waitress" and im not all that and i should just shut the fuck up and stick to doing my job and then he is going to tell me to"just shut up and go fetch his drink".


I sat there stunned and then i had a feeling of unbelievable rage well up inside me. How the fuck could he say that? why would he say that? why? after everything i did for him, got him the girlfriend of his dreams, worked for him when there wasnt enough waiters, helped him out whenever he had misunderstandings with people. how could he?


Well obviously im very stunned and hurt by this. I dont know what to say, only that i dont know what to do. do i tell my best friend? do i make her choose between him and i? and this hurts me because i dont want to put her in this position, she'll be crushed. but i dont know how to tell her that he is making me feel like crap and that i no longer even want to work at the restaurant because of him. i dont want her to be with a person who treats other people like dirt when she's around just to impress her and treats me like crap when she isnt around and constantly tries to make me look bad in front of her and her family (her sister in particular), he just puts on an act when she's around like his some kind of good guy.

The problem is she is so happy with him and the last thing i want to do is make her sad. i dont know how to tell her this.

Im stuck in one hell of a dillema here.

posted by Shortypam @ 08:27 Comments: 32