My weekend:bruised ass and dodgy neighbours.
Im in immense pain as im typing this today.
Now my weekend started off in a very promising way..
Friday
It all started on friday, i had duped my manager into giving me the night off!!! no waitering that night Yay!!!
I was set for my presentation and that went well, really it did, the lecturers seemed to like our strategies...
So there it was we were done for the day and i headed home for some rest, relaxation and couch surfing. Now as u all know, i take the bus home and everything was just going swimingly, i had even bought a bottle of wine for S and i to enjoy together the next day. Nowthe bus ride home is filled with dangeruous turns and curves since i live in a mountainy area in the South of JHB. now my stop is at the terminus, so im the last person to get off.
We were only a block away from my house when disaster struck, there is a curve before my house in which you have turn to the left in order to stay alive but unfortunatley, you cannot see the oncoming traffic. At this point i got up (in my heels) and i started making my way to the front of the bus because my stop was coming up...
I suddenly felt myself running faster towards the doors and i asked myself, "why the fuck am i running" then before i could realise wat was happening, bus swerved violently and breaked really hard,
i went flying onto the floor, landed on my preacious booty and i went sliding on the floor towards the front of the bus, bottle of wine in the one hand and my bag in the other.
I slid and rolled right into the bus doors before the bus driver could realise why the heck i was screaming "oh fuck oh fuck!!!!"
Now the reason why the bus swerved and breaked which ultimatly led to my downfall (lol!!!) is that at the bend, another car was coming up in our lane which means he had to swerve to avoid a collision.
i got up battered and bruised and very dishellved and wondering who i should sue for this. my body ached, my heel had broken off my shoe but my wine was OK!!! :-)
Saturday
On saturday morning i checked out my ass in the mirror and let out a woeful scream, i have a bruise (big, purple and sore) the size of two fists on my ass. my beautiful ass, my trademark at summer pool parties, My beautiful ass!!!!
Anyway enough bout my ass, S came over on saturday morning (as he usually does) 4 some DVD's and a good boof(s). we opened the wine and got the blanket out and the heater and we settled in to watch our DVD now usually by this time we start getting naked and do alot of graunching and hectic heavy petting, but on this day we took it slow.... all of a sudden the door flies open and in comes Queen, my moms very bitchy and very jealous girlfriend.
we sit there stunned it would have been meer seconds before we ripped each others clothes off and boofed each other right there on the couch. She came in, got something then took off again all while we sat there giggling and thinking "what if"....
Sunday
on sunday afternoon as i got home from work my mother informed me that she had put my clothes in the wash and had hung them out to dry, now since we live in a complex we sorta have a communial wash line thing going on... there is one on either side of our line of units and we "own" the line on the righthand sice of our unit but sometimes we use the left one which another unit line "owns".
so off i went to the other line and took down my washing. upon returning to my house i saw our nieghbour who lives opposite the front side of our house, going to the washing line and looking at it, they had hung cheap nasty sheets. he nodded his head and went to the window of his house where his paranoid wife was sitting and gave her a thunbs up, meaning "no dear, she didnt steal anything"
Its not the first time that they have done this but this time i had the displeasure of seeing it. I know that my mom is black and i happen to be half white too, but that doesnt automatically make us thieves... my mom has our sheets made to order, specifically to her specifications and designs (a regular coconut that one), why the fuck would we want thier cheep nasty sheets???
i cant believe i live next to such barbarians, i looked at both of them, they looked back and i smiled sweetly then flipped them the bird...* i doubt ill be invited to thier annual residents bring en braai party...
*i later found out that they are in fact the vice presidents of the board of residents at our complex... like i give a hoot.....
posted by Shortypam @ 12:57
Comments: 14
